A few...Motherhood Do's and Don'ts

It has come to my attention a few things over these 19+ years of mothering of what one should do and what one shouldn't...Here's my take on a few for now...

As a Mother you should always tell the truth...Well, maybe not always.
I was asked day before yesterday if Santa Clause is 'real'.  My answer was, "Yes, he is."  I remember that when I was married to my first husband we didn't really celebrate Santa Clause because he felt he was a lie.  I on the otherhand thought of the very foundation of where the idea of Santa Clause comes into our lives, and ran with it...and continue to do so.  It's not as simple as 'Why yes my sweet child, Santa Clause is real.'...Especially if you're a wordy Mom like myself.  I'm sure I loose them in the initial explanation/version and reasoning of real vs. not.  I go into the T version...'He had a reputation for secret gift-giving, such as putting coins in the shoes of those who left them out for him, and thus became the model for Santa Claus, whose modern name comes from the Dutch Sinterklaas, itself from a series of elisions and corruptions of the transliteration of "Saint Nikolaos". His reputation evolved among the faithful, as was common for early Christian saints." (Thanks Wikipedia-for further info... here's the link:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Nicholas

In the meantime, I further explain that there are people who carry this tradition on and the beauty of giving continues on by the spirit of many all over this globe who give to others...I like the guy in the red suit anyhow...He's evolved...but, deep down it's the spirit that brings the smile to my heart and I hope to my children's...

I happen to know him personally....Do you?

As a Mother you should use real words for body parts...and AGAIN tell the truth.
I don't know how many times life as a parent has presented new and fabulous ways of describing, defining, and learning about body parts.  'How did the baby actually get inside the Mom's tummy?' 'Why does your pee pee look like that?' 'I'm not going to get hair, am I?' 'Are you doing stickers without me?' 'My butt made that noise' ...those are a few quotes from the MANY that come to mind as I'm typing about this topic...So, without further adieu let me elaborate on a couple...

'How did the baby actually get inside the Mom's tummy?' -My reply, "Oh it's magical.  The beauty of it all is that the baby is made from part from the Dad and part from the Mom.  Than the baby grows and the most amazing thing happens.  We Mom's are made to have the babies so there is a hole where the baby comes out.  'Where's the hole?' Uh, it's down in the private area...which is partly why it's private.  'Can I see it sometime." Uh, no it's private.  'Why can't I see it, is it too small?'  Uh, well let me get this book...and I'll kinda show you that way, okay?  'Ok'.  (If you don't as a parent have this book, you should get it...It really is amazing!

I show them from the book...then comes, "Why can't boys have babies?"  Me-You wouldn't be able to take it.  So, God made Mommy's to have babies, it's that simple.  Some day you'll understand better.  In the meantime, just enjoy that babies and how they're made are just so amazing!  If you have any other questions don't you worry...ask away...I'll try and answer as honestly as possible, cause sometimes it can be confusing.  The End...

'Why does your pee pee look like that?' Girls are born this way and boys are born that way.  That's what makes the difference between boys and girls.  Crazy huh?  'Well, I bet it's hard for you to stand and go pee without this?!'  Yes honey, it does make it more challenging...thanks for the heads up.  'Well, mine goes like this (swaying back and forth) and yours can't.  That's a bummer for you.'  No not really, girls don't want to do that.  'Oh why not?'  You know, I can only speak for myself...I just can't say I've wanted to-ever.  The End...

'I'm not going to get hair, am I?' (I like to answer in the 'we' format, for some it doesn't work...for me it does.)  We all grow hair in different places as we grow up.  It's sometimes not fun.  Sometimes it just is a hassle.  But, boys really want to grow facial hair cause it's a sign of growing up.  Girls, they have to manage it differently and can be a bother.  It's sooo hard to explain, as you grow up I'll try to give you better examples.  Does that make sense?  'No, am I going to get hair too-that's all I wanted to know.'  Yes. 'Well where will it grow?' Hmm, let's see your chin, under your nose, in your pits, in your private area, and believe it or not more hair will grow on your legs and arms...some people get more than others and some people have darker hair than others...you just don't know until it grows.  Crazy huh?  'No, I just don't want to know, where now and when?.'  Honey, I just am not sure, you tell me when you see a difference.  (6 months later) 'MOM!  I'm a grown up now!!!'  Oh you are, are you? And how do you know this?  'I have some hair!'  I see that's wonderful!  (Oh how simple growing up can be.)

'Are you doing stickers in there without me?'  When I had my second child, I was taking care of some let's call it feminine hygiene that follows having a baby.  I was removing the adhesive from a product, and as I was doing so - my oldest child who was not used to being locked out of the restroom...Was screaming at the top of his lungs.  "Are you DOING STICKERS IN THERE WITHOUT ME?'  No Honey, I'll be out in a moment, I'm using the restroom.  As I finished up and left the bathroom, he rushed in and opened every single drawer, cabinet, and turned back the shower curtain-looking for the sticker loot!  Alas, he didn't find any and peered through untrusting eyes that I had done stickers without him.  (Years later I told him, and we had a laugh.)

I imagine it looked something like this...

'That was my butt making that noise.'  As my children have grown, I've diligently tried to teach them that bodily functions are just that...they happen to every single person that I know...and there's no humor in it.  But, the boys especially think that farting is an art.  One of my boys, when he was potty training...was sitting for the usual extremely long time on the potty.  He was trying so hard to just go on the big potty so he would get the sticker to put on his potty chart.  Basically he farted while on the potty.  It 'sounded' big and echoeyish...He snickered and said, "That was my butt making that noise." to this day...I can still picture that cutie patootie sitting on the big potty...and his little voice.  Pure innocent fascination and humor.

I'll leave you for now with those...and try to come up with a few more...by next week.

Good Memories...

Love Deeply, Live Out Loud & Live your Dash,
T








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