Liar, Liar, I Wish your Pants were On Fire!
I had graduated High School and moved away from everything that I knew and our little community of trust. Similar to the circle of trust that is on Meet the Parents...Our little town held the circle of trust, but it was probably more like an octagon of trust. You knew everyone, what they did, what their parents did for work, if they had affairs, if they left their house open, or car keys in the ignition...Definitely more of an octagon than a circle. Moving to the big city was a treat. It was almost like you could reinvent yourself, yet be the same person, but with no history. Like every 18 year old, I was ready for anything! Nobody could stop me, today was my canvass & it mattered how I would color my own world for the day to set myself for the following day and days to follow that...So, I went to school at a Junior College and was taking it all in. One day I drove my car to the grocery store. I saw a man walking through the parking lot asking for money. I'd like to think that I was observant with a flair of small town naivety. I got prepared and put the change from my ashtray into my pocket and was so proud of myself. I got out of my car, and walked towards the door of the grocery store. I was shortly approached by the man I had seen earlier. He handed me a card, said nothing. I looked at the card, and read something like this: "I'm a deaf, mute, going to college, and it's difficult for me to find work. Could you help me out with whatever you can, in trade the sign language A-Z alphabet is on the reverse side of this card." Oh, my heart just fluttered, I'm in college too! Poor guy! I proudly prepared gave him what was in my pocket. He smiled and kept walking. My heart still feeling badly for the guy, I ran back to my car and found more change. He was some ways away from me, and I called out to him. "HEY! Excuse me!! I found some more change." He I remind you was literally 50 yards from me, he turned around. I ran over to him, and gave him a handful of quarters, I was saving for the laundromat. He smiled again, and said "Thank you." I turned around and started walking to the store, pleased as punch. It took me nearly half the rest of the parking lot to stop in my tracks..."Wait, he didn't speak to me before, and his card said "deaf, mute" and when he spoke there wasn't difficulty in speaking, AND he heard me when he was 50 yards away. My heart sank, what a dummy! That man was a liar, liar, and I wish his pants were on fire! Really?!? Little Miss I'm Prepared...and not only that you went back and gave him MORE money! Well, I guess I learned that there could be times where you give and what you receive is a lesson that there are bad people out there who take advantage of others...Man I was mad at myself...and mad that I couldn't do my laundry until I got paid! But, I did have on hand a constant reminder in my ashtray-the card of the A-Z sign language alphabet.
When Broom handles Don't work-Face the Music
I lived in an apartment when I turned 19. I had moved out of my Grandmothers, and then my Godmothers who had both taken me under their wings to help me get kick started in the big world. I was ready- So I thought, to live in an apartment. How exciting! It seemed as if I was the youngest person in the complex, and that didn't seem to bother me. It was a lower level apartment and dealing with the footsteps of the neighbor above seemed to be the least of my worries. I would have rather heard that than what I did hear on a constant, daily basis! Sometimes it happened, several times a day and into the night! Fighting! It was summer time, and I could hear exactly what she and her husband said, and the slapping, and the slamming up against the wall, floor, you name it. I could only handle it for so long, and I'd take the broom handle and bang it up to the ceiling to remind them, that people could hear, and yell out the slider "Knock it Off!" or "Stop!"
I'd see her the next day as we both went to our cars for work, she looked sad to me and a complete wreck! Her clothes were just hanging off of her, and I wanted to so badly to talk to her and help her...see if she wanted me to take her to get help. She was not approachable! She gave me a mean side glare, and marched to her car...off we went for the day. One weekend, I just couldn't take it. I was watching a movie and it started again. She was screaming, "Stop! (I could hear the sounds of slapping!) Don't!!" Other sounds I can't find ways to type and then the thunking, and what sounded like a head slammed up against the wall! I yelled out the slider, like usual. This normally would stop them or they'd close their slider and not thunk around anymore. But, this time it got worse. That's it! I'm going to go up there! I stormed up there, and I was ready to take her somewhere else and help her out, and deal with the wrath of the guy-the fall out-the after math...Knock-Knock on the door, she flings the door open and is buck naked and sweaty! She says to me, all pissed off, "You know you can really ruin a persons sex life! Can you just leave us alone?" Then he comes to the door, standing behind her, naked and sweaty...and nods his big head (the one on top of his neck people!). Boy oh boy! I was speechless! I didn't know what to say. Well, I never! I went back to my apartment and sat there for a few minutes...then got up and went to the manager's office to request an apartment change. To this day, I laugh...I wonder if he was slapping her batootie? I learned it takes all kinds, and no wonder she looked at me with a side glare...Did she think I knew what was really going on in there?
Guardian Angels
At one of the places of my places of employment, the surrounding area was not in a good part of town. Actually it was a very bad part of town. Across the street was the Senior Center, which I always worried about the people coming and going, and made sure I paid attention to my surroundings. Each morning I would get to work and after a while, I noticed that the people who were leaving the Senior Center were not Seniors...rather all walks of life. I listened and observed for a few days and realized that it was people attending AA & NA meetings. Having had an intimate experience as a child with a family member going through 'the program', I was very sensitive with this subject. The weather changed, and the rain came. I noticed that there was a car that remained in the same parking spot for some time, it may move slightly forward, or slightly back, but never far. One day I saw a man go to this car, and put a pamphlet inside, lock the door and walk away. Maybe he worked nearby? I don't know. But, I was paying attention. There became a time, when our paths crossed and I said hello or good morning, and he never responded. I thought, well maybe he couldn't hear very well. So, I'll say it louder the next day, not like yelling, just louder by volume. I said it louder the next chance I got, and he looked at me as if something was wrong with me, and replied with the appropriate answer, just accompanied with a quizzical look, "Good Morning." I was pleased. At the end of the day, I saw him for the first time. He was going to his car again. He got into it, and didn't drive away. Oh no! Maybe he lived in his car? No, that couldn't be...I became a naive detective in a bad neighborhood, and came to work early the next day. I parked down the street, and walked by inconspicuous and everything, and looked in the windows of his car. There were boxes and books, crossword puzzles, and a thermos. Not a lot to someone, but the world to him. My mind was whirling! I needed to help him. I needed to get him blankets and a pillow! I went home directly from work, and ripped apart my house. I lived with my boyfriend, and so, I went through his closet and found items he no longer needed, or used any more. You know Pendletons, jackets, and guy stuff. Oh, he might beg to differ with you that he needed these things, but he wasn't homeless. I went through the linen closet, and got him blankets, and a pillow. I went through the bookcase and found crosswords, and books, and things of interest that didn't take a source of energy like as in batteries or electricity. I went through the pantry and bagged cans and a can opener. I piled it all in my car and could sleep, knowing that tomorrow, I was going to give these items to my new friend who could now hear me. My boyfriend, was ready to kill me, and I laugh because we didn't have food to eat-We actually ate the sausage that you get at Christmas from Pepperidge Farms or something...the one's you never eat...and I made some goulash that lasted until the next pay period. My boyfriend wasn't exactly pleased as punch like myself. So, I went in to work like Santa and his sleigh. My Honda was piled to the top and overflowing. I couldn't even carry all of the bags that I had stuffed for him. I got there early and filled my arms, billowing with the goods. I was walking up to him and had a smile on my face from ear to ear. He motioned to move out of my way as I approached him with my oodles of bags. I said, "Good morning." in a regular volume sort of way. He replied, "Good morning." I followed by sayings, "Um, Hi, I'm T and I was going through some things and I thought maybe you might know of someone who could use these things?" He simply said, "No." and shook his head. I felt like I was punched in the stomach, and that if I were a sailboat, the wind was knocked out of my sails. In a squeaky voice I then said, "Ok." I turned and probably looked absolutely pathetic, tail between my legs, I walked back to my car, which still had things in it to share, and started to put the stuff in there. Punched in the gut of goodness...Before I put the last bag in, the man approached me and said, "I might know someone who could use that blanket and pillow." I turned embarrassed with my tear stained cheeks, smiled and told him sure. But, he could only take it if he could find someone else who could use the other items too. He stretched out his hand and said, "I'm Don, it's nice to meet you T. I don't know why you're doing this, but thank you." I helped him carry the goods to his home. We stuffed it all in there, and I went off to work. I didn't see him the next couple of days, but when I did, he waved at me before I even got up to greet him verbally. I never did get one single item returned to me. He must have found a friend to use them. Over the next couple of years I got to know Don, and he watched as I got engaged, married, and had my first child. We talked nearly every single morning, he watched over me in the bad neighborhood, and was my guardian angel. I remember one night we had leftovers, we had had a BBQ and I told my husband that I would be right back. If I told him that I was going to the bad neighborhood at 8:30 at night, he would tell me I couldn't go, it wasn't safe. So, I packed a plate, and went to Don's house. He wasn't in there. I put the plate on the windshield and didn't leave a note. I went to work the next day and he met me at my car. "You may not come down here at night, it's not safe! That BBQ'd chicken was the best! Thank you my dear." I don't think I heard him, he should have knocked it up in volume like I had, cause I didn't stop. I brought him many dinners from that point on, my husband caught on and scolded me from time to time...but, he knew that I wasn't going to stop, my friend needed help. I became pregnant with my first child, and I can remember telling Don. He was so excited. It was then that he told me a little of his story. He told me that he was a Vietnam Vet and that before the war, he was married with two children. He spoke with pride as he talked about his son and daughter. While away in the service and in active duty, he received a letter. A 'dear John' letter. His wife was divorcing him, and she was remarrying. Upon his arrival to the US, he tried to reconnect with his children, but they were connected to his ex-wife's new husband, and he didn't want to 'mess them up' anymore. But, he longed for them, I could tell. I asked if he was ever able to see them? He said his son owned a restaurant and was local, he was able to talk with him once or twice a year. But, he was too embarrassed because he had become an alcoholic and drug abuser with all of his challenges of the war and loss of his family. It was easier to escape. Don and I were connected. I saw him at a Longs Drugs, one day after work. I didn't want him to know I saw him, so I crept through the store and followed him, again using my detective skills (I think I missed my calling) and every single item he picked up, I put in my basket. Yes, every single item he examined, touched, looked at practically...I put in my basket. I had forgotten why I was even there. I went through the check stand, and I recall it was $85 dollars worth of goods. I didn't have an extra $85 dollars but, Don needed this. I came out with my bags of surprise stuff, and I couldn't find Don. He must have hopped a bus. I needed to get home, and knew I'd be in trouble for spending the PG&E money, and so I went to the bad neighborhood and did what any girl in trouble would...I shoved it under his driver door, so that either someone would have to stand in the traffic to steal it, or he'd get it when he opened his car door. I went home with my tail between my legs AGAIN and had to tell my husband what I now done. I was in trouble. The next day I went into work and he met with me at my car door. He was mad. What are you doing? You can't spend this money, AND HOW IN THE HELL did you know what I looked at? I laughed and said that I saw him at the store and wanted to surprise him. He wanted me to take it all back to the store and get my money back. I refused, and said don't make me late for work. He sighed and shrugged. A little later on, the gal at the front desk at work, announced that the creepy weird guy was coming to the front door. I hopped up and ran to the door to greet him, so that he wouldn't feel weird with the rude people at work. We walked outside, he handed me some money, it was like $3 and some change. He said, this is all that I have and I'm going to figure out how to pay you back. I pushed his hands back to him and said, you will hurt me if you don't accept my gift. He held my hands. I don't know what he gave to me, but he was true, sincere, and wanted nothing from me. We went on for about nearly 5 years, and yes he lived in his 'house' that entire time. I left my job and still brought things to him. Time passed and he wasn't there anymore, I asked the people I knew if they heard where he went, and I went to the AA & NA and not a soul knew. I was saddened. But, life goes on. It was about ten years later, I was going through my divorce. It was a day I was to meet my soon to be ex in a public place. We were walking, and a man passed us. I knew his face, but I couldn't place it. I was searching my brain index and I turned and yelled, "DON?" The man turned, it was Don! I went back and met him. He and I exchanged a hug. He was cleaned up, shaven, and older. I had so many questions! He told me that he had his own apartment, and a running car, and a job, and most of all he wanted to share that he had rekindled his relationship with his children. HE HAD GRANDCHILDREN! He then turned to my ex and said, "I know that I put you both through hell at times, and that I put you out. But, your wife was my guardian angel. There were times that I wanted to die. Times that I didn't want to think anymore, and she was there with a smile, or a word, OR MANY WORDS, and she reminded me that it was all worth it. You treat her with respect, I owe her my life." We again parted, and tears were streaming down my face...for he did not know what I was going through, and all I could do was share photos of the the two oldest children and tell him that I had adopted as well. When we left the impression that he left on me I cannot describe. So, people you are some one's guardian angel, and someone is yours...and all you need to remember is time heals everything. Hold on to those dearest to you for tomorrow is another journey and you don't know loss until you truly loose someone you love. So, here's to my Guardian Angel Don, I will never forget you.
Love Deeply, Live Outloud & Live your Dash-
T Pin It
Love you lady! :)
ReplyDeleteI remember T and Don and her love for him...he must have been one special person to have gained her love and trust. And I love you too T! More than any words can say!
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