Bodily Functions, and Experiences...Take 2!

This is my follow up to T's hilarious recollection of bodily function stories.  I must admit I was seriously cracking up and had tears at some points during her blog.  I won't admit which I was there for, but I can say that even being there with her, and living it, I can still look back and laugh...

The thought of bodily functions and sounds is sometimes off limits to people.  The wrong sound or word can send some people into a gasp, or even worse shooting you the "stink eye" as my husband puts it.  But yes my friends, we all have them.  We have all been embarrased by them at one time or another...So why not find the humor, and share it?

Let me just start by saying, becoming a mother has been one of the most life changing and amazing things I have ever done.  But it has also been some of the most difficult and challenging times as well.  Eight years ago when my husband and I decided we wanted to enlarge our family, all I could imagine was the smell of our baby snuggled into my shoulder and a little person who looked just like us.  I never imagined how having this perfect little person would broaden my horizons with poop, pee, farts and a whole new level of experience surrounding this subject.

Have you ever had a child who has had a hard time going number two?  It is one of the most painful, and horrific things that can happen to your sweet little bundle.  In my experience, the poor child is screaming and crying in pain while you are trying to figure out what is wrong.  The phrase, "Zero to screaming in 30 seconds" doesn't even begin to cover it.  You try patting them on the back, feeding them, bouncing them on your knee...until you discover what is really happening...A poop, a doodie, a deuce, a bm is attempting to come out but it is not happening.  Nope, your poor child is constipated. What do you do?

One of our children, who shall remain nameless, had many of the above scenarios occur.  The most memorable time was at a park in Santa Rosa while visting some friends of ours.  We thought it would be fun to go the park for the day, have some lunch and hang out.  Well, as soon as our child starting crying and becoming uncomfortable I just knew we were in trouble.  This had happened enough times at this point for me to have that "mothers intuition", and to have a very good idea of what was going to be next.  Our family walked back, ok practically ran back, to the car and started to change the diaper.  Yep, this poor baby was stopped up.  What to do, two parents desperate to relieve the pain and quick!

Now those of you who know my husband, know he is very resourceful.  He is a very quick thinker, and very hands on.  That's what I love about him, but I never in a million years would've imagined the next thing happening.  He grabbed a plastic spoon from the lunch bag, and to spare you too many details, dislodged the very thing that was causing our baby pain.  Instant relief.  New diaper on, and our babe was as good as new.

This is one of the experiences that I think we will look back on when our children are grown, and be able to laugh.  It is one of those times I couldn't imagine experiencing with anyone else, and as gross as it may sound I'm pretty sure it brought my husband and I closer together...

As a "seasoned" mother of two children now, I have had a few more of these bathroom experiences under my belt and feel as if I can almost be prepared for anything.  Except, for this....It all happened on one Tuesday morning.  The bathroom door was accidentally left open after someone had brushed their teeth.  One sweet little family member had decided to "sight see" in a room that she has been banned from pretty much her whole life, except for bath time.  Now I can only imagine the curiousity that was surging through her, as she stepped in the door.  So much to see and discover in this small room!  I can't say what other items she touched, or if she tried to climb up on the counter, or what germs she probably picked up while "discovering", but what I can say is that she ended up somewhere I never thought of...the toilet!  Yes, when I realized the house was too quiet, I found her in the bathroom, standing in the toilet bowl.  Fully clothed, and standing in the toilet!!  She was having a great time splashing around I might add.

First, I freaked out, and picked her up immediately. I couldn't get mad, she had this look of complete happiness on her face.  Second, I stripped her down and gave her a very thorough bath.  Lastly, I threw her whole outfit including her cute little pink booties (leather with fur for you fashionistas)  into the washing machine.  I realize I was taking a chance washing the leather booties but it was worth the risk to wash the germs and possible floaters off...For those of you wondering, they turned out just fine.

It is on a regular basis that our children remind me that you can never feel too confident as a parent, because just when you do..a doozie like this snaps you back to reality.  Maybe that's why I enjoy my job so much.  I am constantly on my toes and never feel bored with our two little lovelies around.  It reminds me of a card I received at our first baby shower, pending the arrival of our son.  The card was from one of my best friends mothers, and it read, "Motherhood is one of the most difficult jobs you will ever love."  Agreed, and so true.

Embrace Your Sparkle!

B




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