Wine Coolers, Axels, & Daily Grind

Indeed, there is something that screams "You live in a safety net!" when you live in a town like we grew up in. Even if our growing up style changed once we left the City Limits, the growing up we did do while there can't be beat anywhere else. I can guarantee that if you had asked us if we liked it then, we didn't. But, as B said in retrospect, it was a beautiful way of 'growing' period. I even use some of the same tactics that were used against me, although explained to me then 'to protect, and help me' these days with my own children. I know when one of my children has purchased jerky from the gas station at lunch time, when one likes someone else and hasn't yet disclosed it to a family member, and if one was off school grounds in a hidden location when they were supposed to be at school. What I now consider a benefit, then I thought was a prison sentence.

Oldest, Curfew Sitation, Wine Coolers
Being the oldest, wisest, brightest, and most sarcastic of we sisters, (Ok, maybe only two out of those four are true) I didn't get into trouble like B. Oh! Wait! Neither of us got into trouble, but she should have! I did go to dances, and to be home right following the dance was the rule. I followed the rule, I didn't waiver or stray from the rules. It didn't help that we lived not far from the school, and our parents and their hawk like senses, listened for the traffic leaving, after a school dance. (I scoff at that word in our lil town, traffic was tourists during tourist season, and High Schoolers leaving a dance. Oooo!) So, if I were later than say, 10-15 minutes past the time the dance was over, I was grounded. Which meant that I couldn't talk on the phone, and pull it 30 ft. away from the wall, and secretly talk to a boy, or go anywhere unless it consisted of school, or sporting event that I was involved in. Mom says she never held to the grounding, but I beg to differ with her on that one. B on the other hand, I think the words were spoken that she was grounded, but the definition seemed to change over the six year difference between us. I have vowed to my children to be as mean to the first child all the way to the sixth child. (It's tough work!) I can remember going back 'home' as an adult and seeing that B was doing things I wasn't allowed to do, or doing them without permission, and calling her out on it. She would laugh and walk out the door! I would make my best pleas to convince my Mom that she should punish her, but she didn't! We won't even talk about our little bro...He's a boy AND is the youngest of the trio. He had a totally different set of rules, they were his own. I kid about it, because I can, it's in the rules of being an older sibling. You gotta get something out of this deal. In a nut shell, I broke the parents in for them. I was so good, that they let the reigns out a little with each of the children following my lead...Truthfully, my Mom would probably say, "You never asked." Uh, you're right, I was afraid for my life to ask. I did get into trouble, my record was not squeaky clean. I got a curfew situation, for sitting in a truck in front of one of the places kids hung out, to talk and flirt, or make plans for these party's that B speaks of...I was out passed the curfew of the City, which was 10 pm. My girl friend was irritated that the officer was questioning us. She mouthed off to him, and asked him why he was bothering us when he could be getting a burglar or something. Great! That's all I needed was to have my parents get a call from jail! BESIDES the fact that, that night she had me sneak out some wine coolers from the garage to the truck...She had a brilliant idea to pour the coolers into these ice cream containers she had cleaned out. While walking through her dark garage, arms full of these coolers, somewhat against my will-even though I was carrying them myself. I dropped a 4 pack on the floor. Her dad flung open the door, and grumpily said "You'd better clean those up before morning, they're going to smell." My friend wasn't in the garage when I did this, and came running back in, I was ready to go back in the house and call it a night. I told her what her Dad had said, she said "Oh, we'll get it in the morning-Let's go have some fun." You see she was the youngest of her siblings...I was the oldest of mine remember...Proof of the totally different rules for younger siblings do exist! We went outside and she did her switch of the wine coolers into the new containers...I mention this because we could have had a minor in possession that night, but when the cop flashed his flashlight into the truck, he saw the ice cream containers...and didn't think anything. What teenagers cruise with ice cream? I don't know...he must not have been from around there?...It's cold even in the summer time there...But, oh well we'll go with it. The officer had dispatch call our parents to get permission to go home. I wasn't in trouble, but I didn't know this. When I woke up I cleaned up the mess in the garage, and stalled going home. I knew I was in trouble...for certain! The Police Department notified our parents that that our probation officer would call. My what? Great! I've got a record now! I'll stay away from home as long as I could, cause if I'm not in county jail, I will be jailed at home once I get there. My Mom was more mad because I hadn't checked in that morning, than for my curfew citation. I bet she would have been pissed, if she knew I had the wine coolers in the truck too. (So, Mom are you mad? I know you're reading this...)

My parents did allow for me to go to a couples party once, since parents were there. We 'watched' movies, and sat all cozied up with our boyfriends. We ate snacks, held hands, kissed, and then some couples made plans for after the party, for a real party. I had to go home. So, there Mom I did ask to do something and I give you credit for allowing me to attend. Dang it! Why didn't I push the limits! I could have been having a Red Solo Cup experience, or tire burning, or some other type of excitement stored in my memory bank, like B! I guess it allows for me to make up for the times I didn't, and I can take risks now...Look out world-I'm here!

Cruising Main
I too had an experience that involved my boyfriends vehicle, me driving it, and my parents. Well, my parents issue that they would like to be known a "a concern" was that they didn't want me to drive his truck. I didn't find the 'concern' to be, well as concerning. I drove it anyhow, it was 'cool' to drive it, and I felt special in some sort of High School girl dating a boy kinda way. Well, we were out 'tooling around' or 'cruising', I believe it there were two girlfriends and myself in the cab of the truck. My boyfriend was out of town at a football game, and he had left the keys with me so that I could take it. We were listening to music, and giggling like girls and talking about boys...and going from one end of town to the other end, and repeat-several times that night. We were ironically in front of the Auto Wreckers of town and something happened. Metal was scraping, and the axle ended up on the ground, at the front of the vehicle rather than the rear...we were dead in the middle of Main...well a smidgen off to the side. I hadn't hit anything? I have no idea what had happened. But, we all looked at one another, and didn't know what to do. If you knew our town, there isn't the hustle and bustle of people on foot. But, for some reason, a man was walking with a brief case near where we were. I'm sure as we were inspecting Main and the debris of bolts, and shards of metal, and pieces of the truck that were in the road...bent over like non mechanics trying to put it together in our minds...we were a sight to see. Remember, this was before cell phones. So, the man came over to us, and bent down with us...looked and said, "Looks like the axle fell out at the transfer case, there must have been a crack or something. Here's my card, if you need more help." I remember thinking who the heck is this, and why would I need your card? I'm not only busted by my friggin parents, but my boyfriend is going to kill me. Some high school boys helped us push it to the side of the road, and then we got a ride to the High School parking lot, because as the bus would return the football players to the school-Someones truck wouldn't be there. I left a note on another boys truck that his truck broke down, and was in front of the Auto Wreckers. Then I proceeded to go home and face the first wrath, the parents. I walked in and they were on the couch watching a movie. I was home earlier than was expected. My Mom made a comment about me being home early, and asked if I wanted to watch the movie with them. I sat down, waiting an eternity (3 minutes or so), then I broke it to them. I asked if I could talk to them, and my Dad sighed the 'sigh' and gave the 'look'. I then told them that I know I wasn't supposed to, but I drove my boyfriends truck and then it broke down, and I left him a note on someone else's truck. I got a lecture on the reasons of their 'concern' had now come to fruition, and that they didn't have the money to pay for the truck's repair, and so on and so on. I was grounded. I went to my room, and cried, at some point I fell asleep. I awoke with my eyes glued shut from the tears, and eyes so puffy I had to feel my way out of my room, because the slits that I did have, wouldn't allow enough vision to make it based on sight. I used the restroom, and was committed to get back to my room for my self sequestering of the remaining High School Years...before I made it back to my room. The phone rang, and it was my boyfriend, my Mom had answered, and she said I needed to talk to him. I reluctantly got on the phone, and he then proceeded to tell me that he had anticipated that, the transfer case was going to crack at some point, and that it wasn't a big deal. WHAT! NOT A BIG DEAL! I didn't know if I should feel relieved or upset he hadn't told me of the possibilities...and probability that it could happen while I was driving-Thus I'd have made the decision to not drive it-Right! Wrong, who would I be fooling? I would have driven it anyhow...flowers were delivered to my house that afternoon, and an apology...I only wonder what my Dad and Mom thought. It wasn't discussed ever again.

Dances, Teenage Years, & the Bump & Daily Grind of Parenting
School dances were fun, and I have been going back to remember how much fun I had, as I watch my own children who have attended, or are attending dances in their school careers. I have even chaperoned a dance or two in my parenthood lifetime. I remember that the most explicit things to worry about during my school dance experience was that of lyrics that implied about the act of sex, or kissing, or women. Or that the common 'boner' was active during a slow dance, and at times petrifying. If you can picture in your head, I'd be slow dancing from the waist up...and dancing with enough space to allow for the growing problem from the waist down. Don't forget a quick prayer in my head would be said, that the song would end-any-time-SOON! I used to wonder what it would be like to be raised in the 50's with sock hops and somehow doubt that kids these days wish they were raised in the 80's like their parents. I can't for once imagine the kids that I see dancing these days, they put Dirty Dancing to shame, allow for a moment the thought of dancing like their prehistoric parents of the 80's. When did that all change? Where was I for that? I must have missed something. I didn't get the memo. I feel like I might repeat some of the phrases that my parents, or grandparents used...Holy Buckets! I think that it's more applicable 'these days'! I've caught a few kids having intercourse on the dance floor, that's sex people with two boys and a girl. They grind, and I'm not talking about coffee. The boundaries of my slow dancing days are long gone, and I'm saddened that there's 'no boner'. Their innocence is lost, there aren't any lines drawn in their heads, to respect themselves. It is definitely difficult to raise children, and teach, guide, and set some boundaries for them the respect of themselves...as they are up against challenges that in general terms today's society allows by what is considered acceptable. I know that I'm doing my best and that what I do instill in my own- is to respect themselves and others, always. There is no exception. So far, keeping the open communication between them and myself has paid off. But, with the topics of dances and attire that young ladies choose, 'in my day' a hooker would have worn. I believe that it's we as parents who initially set the guidelines and show them that beauty is much further than the length of their legs, or the sex appeal that a 14 or 15 year old can project, or how much cleavage is exposed. I guess I am dating myself...but, to what era? We set ourselves up for disappointment, failure, and unnecessary pain for ourselves and more importantly our children if we choose to turn the other cheek. I have definitely been one who has called another parent, spoke to them in person, or sat in a room with another's child to talk about a serious subject matter with a set of parents because their child was too afraid to talk to them alone. The difficult subject matters that sometimes parents turn the other cheek, rather than talk to their child makes for it to continue. I have had talks about 'a' pubic hair Yes, that's a single hair. A teen was excited at a study group I held for a group of boys. A week or so earlier I had talked to them about hygiene-deodorant, the changes in their body, and girls. I guess he felt compelled to share that 'it happened', he got one hair. Try to keep your composure on that one, somehow I did. I've explained 'blow' jobs. I have explained, that you don't 'just blow with air' on 'it'. You laugh, but I've been in these situations. I will never, lie, cheat, or steal for anyone...and all of the kids that I know, are aware of this...and because of that, I have had to deal with some serious, silly, whole hearted, and teen challenges of today's world. I wouldn't have it any other way, they have to have someone to go to. I'd rather they know the truth, than try to figure it out on their own, or create their own definition. I do let them know that I would help them speak to their parents, and have done so. Difficult, very difficult-But, worth it all in the end. Parenthood, nothing prepares you for it, and it's ever evolving. Let me text you next time to explain. No, I'll facebook you. Facetime is always an option...I'm sure glad there's no Youtube video of either B, nor my driving the boyfriends vehicle, and going viral. I think it's tough to be a teen these days with all of the social networking. If I could say one thing, it would be to stay connected without social networking with our children. Connection and communication is becoming a lost art, and it is so important. I guess it gives the 'boner' option a whole new meaning?


Love Deeply, Live out Loud & Live your Dash,
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