Life would be pretty lonely without friends, wouldn't it? There are many different friends that come and go throughout your lifetime. You have childhood friends. You have college friends. Your husband or wife becomes your friend. You have work friends. You have married life friends. You have parents of your childrens friends, friends. You have fake friends. You have reliable friends. You have instant friends, and you have friends who you never thought you'd be friends with upon first introduction. One of my closest friends is someone I met and upon first meeting, I thought we'd never be friends. We were too different, and believe it or not I now talk to her almost every day. On the other hand, I have some friends that I hit it off with immediately. You begin a conversation when you first meet and you feel as if you have known this person your whole life. It doesn't matter how long you have been friends, as long as they are there for you when you need them without a doubt. And vice-versa.
Starting out in elementary school, in my experience, everyone started out as friends. I think it was about middle school when kids started branching out and started their own groups or clicks. I hung out with a group of girls that I thought were my friends until 6th grade, when upon one lunch they informed me they didn't "want to be friends" with me anymore. Ouch. I carried that one around with me for a while and came to the conclusion that it was a valuable lesson in friendship. It took no time before I had starting becoming friends with new people and discovering how to determine who was a true friend and who
wasn't.
A romantic relationship can begin as friends, and for what it's worth I think it's a good base to have. My husband and I began as friends, which lasted for over two years before we became romantically involved. Considering we were able to get to know each other before the oogley googlies got involved, I think it has helped us to really enjoy each others company. We can do something exciting or do nothing at all and enjoy being together.
It wasn't until approximately 4 years ago that it hit me: a very valuable lesson in friendship. I became close friends with gal who married one of my husbands best friends. (Follow me, or was that too much like: My husbands, brothers, mother-in-laws, nephews sister?) Anyway, after several times of camping, dinners, car rides, etc it hit me that she was always complimenting and saying positive things when we were together or when we spoke. I thought about how I always knew she was there to lift me up and encourage, and made this fact very obvious. I had known her much less time than some of my closest friends, yet she had taught me this beautiful lesson. Why hadn't I thought of this before? Not to toot my own horn but I had considered myself a good friend. Here I was lacking in this area. This was an "Ah-Ha" moment as Oprah used to say. A light bulb went off over my head. Since that moment, I have made it a point to not only assume my friends know how I feel and that I support them, but I tell them so. I also tell them in the appropriate moments that I love them. For some reason before I never did this, I think I was worried that they might think I was being weird or something. But all of a sudden, I didn't care. I wanted them to know and not wonder. Your friends are there to lift you up, and to teach you how to become a better person. I loved this lesson and look forward to many more "Ah-Ha" moments my friends teach me. I will be forever greatful to my friend who taught me this, and she probably doesn't even know it.
I am a rather high maintenance friend, and I admit it. With the demanding schedule my husband keeps for work, sometimes he is unavailable and my friends are who I depend on for emotional support. I expect my closest friends to be available for a call if I have drama going on in my life, be there for me bawling my head off once and a while, listen to my boring stories, or be up to an adventure if something strikes my fancy. Oh and to definitely make me laugh and laugh at my jokes! I love to share recipes, stories about our children, margaritas, someone who will go exercise etc. I want my true friends to stay close to me and they better look forward to using our bedazzlers on our jog suits and hanging out playing Bingo when we are old! Is this too much to ask?
Of course I do have friends that I don't get to see very often, and we pick up right where we left off the year before, two years before etc., and this is pretty special too.
It's important to me to do anything for my friends. If I expect something out of someone, I will try to reciprocate the favor because I care for them. I will be there for them as much as humanly possible if they need me to listen, and make sure I am there for important milestones in their lives as well. I may sometimes offer unsolicited advice but my girls know I am always going to be a straight shooter with it. Even if you don't want to hear it...
Friends are the family we get to choose in life. Sure I love my sister, brother, mother etc. but we all have a wild card in the family right? Well friends are those who you choose to share your life story with.
Life is one big sequence of events. Mostly happy with a few melancholy things sprinkled in between. Choose your friends to share your life with wisely, those who encourage and make you happy. Maybe YOU are the sparkle and shine in a friends life, and you didn't realize it! After all, God may have given you to them and not them to you. Just a thought.
Embrace Your Sparkle,
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