Penis vs. Vagina

Boys vs. Girls

Chopping Parts Off
All three boys are in the 'middle' backseat, and they're chatting it up.  No rock goes unturned with these three.  They talked about the kids in their classes  & how I love to listen to their descriptions of these  kids and how they 'should' behave and the don't.  One of the boys says, "I don't like it when this boy named Jake pushes me real hard.  I tell him 'NO! Don't do that! and guess what he still does it!'  One of the other boys responds by saying, "Why don't you karate chop his legs off?" The 'middle' backseat roars with laughter.  I'm sure they're envisioning it.  One of them then says, "Yah, karate chop them right off, and then throw them away-then he couldn't walk or run after you to do it!"  How they find karate chopping someones legs off so they couldn't walk or run, funny-I'll never know I have a vagina.  I mean it's not even possible!  I just can't figure it, but it was a solution they could all agree on. When Yaya was little, or even me for that matter...Solutions for this would have been to remove ourselves from these creatures of trouble.  Or even greater...plaster SCP on the back of your hand!  What's this? Super Cootie Protection of course!  Then run away, because the only reason boys say those type of words to girls is because secretly they like the girl. Right?  But, when it's boys saying something to another boy, the only answer is physical-chopping off something, punching them in the 'tots', or thinking up some God awful way to make them miserable and cause excruciating pain or even death.  Thank God I got the part I got!  If I were in charge of chopping off something, I'd cringe and croak over!  I can't even take a sliver out of a finger unless it just might cause a lifetime of damage or loss of a limb.  If you cover it with a bandaid, it can just fester out.  But, these boys and what comes out of their mouth, it has to do with having a penis, and not a vagina-I'm sure of it.   

Bodily Functions & Such
Why is it that farting and force burping is as amusing as it is? Now, I'm not saying that females don't fart or burp nor am I saying that girls never find those things funny...But, boys on the other hand ma They laugh so hard that if there's anything liquid it will come out their noses, causing even more laughter to be had...by themselves.  How this has got to be a male chromosomal type of thing?  I couldn't find one photo of a girl doing this....

...they've even written an article on how it makes boys smarter.  (If you think this could benefit you, read on... http://thefranklakereport.wordpress.com/2010/11/12/farting-makes-boys-smarter/
My point being, my boys who've been taught to be respectful of themselves and others, find that lifting ones buttocks, to release either a 'silent but deadly', or 'you smelt it you dealt it', or 'burn your nose hairs right out' kind of fart to immediately bring laughter to the surface besides the toxic 'gases' released into the atmosphere...But, most entertaining to each of them is to 'plant' a fart on an unsuspecting victim.  That my friends...sends them into hysteria!  Then I'm trying to correct this behavior, as I can see this happening all the while Emily Post has to be turning in her grave on this one!  Then there's the gulping of air, or as quickly as possible downing soda, or again one of the chromosomal facts that the boys have genetically driving them to force burp...and the laughter that follows this bodily function...There's the 'that was not a fake burp-burp' followed by an 'oops I just got caught 'excuse me' then snicker; There's the 'I just burped the Guiness Book of World Records burp & there's no getting outta this one, but it was so worth it-Brother go ahead and try to top that one' burp.  Or the 'burp-blow into brothers face'.  That's a good one!  Nobody tells you that you must take a refereeing course to be a parent of boys...but, it's a must.

Now, to be honest-For a span of time, I did try to learn to burp on purpose, and wasn't lucky enough to master the skill, let alone even get to burp on accident-on purpose.  AND For the record the attempts were feeble, as I lost interest in trying, it was gross! 

Now, if you think that I don't enjoy the boys and their antics...I do...I actually love them and their antics...it's amusing and sometimes leaves me scratching my head...But, that's the beauty of it all...and the difference between boys and girls...a penis vs. vagina...a fart and passing gas...a burp followed by an excuse me...and that sort of thing...

Love Deeply, Live Out Loud, & Live Your Dash,

T

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